The Post-Orgasm Piss

Here’s a manly complaint with which any women reading this might not be familiar. The post-orgasm piss.

Sometimes during sex, my bladder informs me that it needs relief, particularly if wine has been consumed beforehand and during. The pressure in my bladder leaves me with a conundrum:

• Choice 1: I take a quick break, leaving my partner a bit confused and lonely, and leg it to the toilet. I can wee with an erection, which as far as I can tell is pretty rare and it took practice.
• Choice 2: I hurry up and cum so I can nip to the toilet immediately afterwards.

I hate this choice. I really hate it. Choice 1, breaking off from sex for the sake of a pee, is not desirable in any way because it means I have to stop having sex, and sometimes on my return to the bed my partner isn’t as horny as she had been. But more importantly it’s pretty inconsiderate. Choice 2 is even worse, because a hurried orgasm is nowhere near as satisfying as a natural one.

But these issues aren’t the primary problems. The main problem is that if a guy urinates after he ejaculates, it often stings. Like a bastard. The end of your dick goes all red and you constantly feel like there’s more piss left in you, but there isn’t, but your body is still telling you to urinate. It’s a bit like when you’re so sick you’re just retching, because there’s nothing left to give.

The toilet in my bathroom is right behind the sink – it’s a small bathroom – so when I feel this sensation I tend to just sit on the toilet and rest my sweating forehead against the cool porcelain of the sink, waiting for the uncomfortable feeling to recede. Sometimes it can take, like, 20 minutes, and my partner is usually very concerned that I’m in the bathroom regretting what I’ve just done and maniacally scrubbing my body in a pathological attempt to ‘cleanse’ myself. The problem is, I can’t really tell her why I’m in there, because the symptoms of this sensation always make it sound like I have an STD. I don’t, and this pain is a pretty common one. (If you’re a woman and you’ve never heard about it before, now you know why.)

Jumping in the shower immediately after sex helps, especially if you can hold off taking a piss for as long as possible. But apart from that, I really don’t know how to beat the post-orgasm piss. Up until now, I just tend to grit my teeth and sweat it out.*

Any guys reading this: do you have any tips how to beat this pain?

*I’m making it sound much worse than it actually is. To be honest it just stings a bit, makes you feel like you need a piss even after you’ve just had one, and makes you feel a bit weak.